Monday, 9 April 2012

OH MY GOD, We're nearly at the end!!! ;)

They pissed me off with this – principally cos it’s an album track that I hate – but hey, there you go.  Same old same old….

You all know the hype, you all know  the song – sadly, though, for you, THIS SONG IS NOT WINNING.  There, I said it publically.  It’s going to qualify fo sho, but I can’t see it getting Mrs Ferira in Setubal picking the phone up for it.  What does it actually have going for it? – Good Tune?, Debatable.  Good Lyric? – Possibly, If Loreen actually learnt diction at the Stockholm Dancemusik  Conservatoire as she seems to mumble through the song – good stage show?  Not-so-much, more like a man dancing in his own Dandruff for me.  Now, don’t get me wrong it’ll do well – but not a winner. 

Joker??Poker ??? It’s all a bit Lisa Del Bo on Acid for me!

Can he do it??! ( See what I did there!??!) – I always thought Bonio were a brand of Dog chews, and indeed this is a bit of a dogs dinner of a song to be honest – full of nutritious meaty chunks that Eurovision fans love, with that subtle taste of familiarity and failure.  Probably get through, but more best in kennel than best of breed. 

I couldn’t even remember how it went before doing this review – However having reminded myself of the lovely Ott, I tore my eyes away from him ( After deciding he looks like Chris thungummy who played Robin and is out of NCIS) and listened to the song – This is class with a capital F**K.  Jonsi made me cry…… Ott got me damn close and that’s not a bad thing – This has emotion written all the way through it, and he will perform the arse off this song.  It’s going to qualify easily. 

We all like a bit of rawk don’t we? Not so much – but it’s the best rock song this side of , well, this song to be honest.  Slovakia are going nowhere with this – but as a piece of music outside this contest, its not half bad.  Sadly, however, I have more chance of singing this song than it does of qualifying.

Following in the footsteps of….. well… Stig of the Dump, sorry Van Eijk, our Norwegian pop star Tooji dressed like a gangsta will try to engage the populace with his cheap Norwegian disco beats  - It’s immediate enough, he has some sort of stagecraft and wiggles a lot on the stage.  He gets the girls and the girly boys come over all unnecessary but, despite that, I can see this being televoted for – Juries, however, possibly directed against it – Qualifying definitely, Top 10 in the final should be a shoe in as well.   I also understand that in Eurovision terms, it’s “modern” – so 2001 then – also May 26th is his Birthday, it’s written in the stars!

Bosnia AND Herzegovina
Not sure what to make of this song – although after :25 I want to say “ Get that Piano on Girders to Baku immediately!!!” – Typical Balkan Ballad fest to be honest – builds nicely and, again, they have stuck to what they know and will get votes from the usual places, including the juries.  It should qualify, but should struggle in the final.

Well well well, He’s clearly trying to be Stevie Wonder, or Jordie from Star Trek (The next generation, clearly) – but he ditches that idea and sings………. A typical Lithuanian entry, well at least two because that’s the amount of songs they have shoehorned into this one, and is, therefore, doomed to failure.  – It must be hard for someone to sing a song that’s doomed from the start – but that’s what he has. 


  1. We all know the bookies have Sweden as the sure fire winner. I'd agree with that because the song is clearly the best of this year's bunch. But you're right; it won't win. But not for the reasons you state.

    The Swedish song is a dance track and, as David Guetta would say, dance music is all about technical precision. Dance songs are created in the studio and we don't want or expect the deviations that might occur in a live performance. Today it was announced that Loreen will have 3 backing singers on the vast Eurovision stage in Baku. So the song we heard at Melodifestivalen, where a superb backing track was used, is going to sound distictly less slick on May 26th. It will be underwhelming. It will probably struggle to make the top ten.

    By the way, when did the lyrics of a Eurovision song have any bearing on its success? The best Eurovision winners have had the most ghastly lyrics in my opinion. Save your kisses for me, save all your .............

    1. In the last decade or so the Swedes have done it before.They let the song in Melodifestival with extra backing track and than changed it properly to fit Eurovision rules.And in most cases the songs sounded the same. No doubt they will do it again this time,and that is to their credit. However this is so over hyped to win, but gladly(or sadly, depends on which side you are)it won't.Mainly because it is not that good of a song

    2. I'd be amazed if Loreen can replicate that Melodifestival vocal in Baku but it remains to be seen. Almost every Eurovision winner has a special 'spark', something that somehow resonates with a huge TV viewing audience at that particular moment on a Saturday night in May. I doubt that Sweden will have that spark this time. In fact, I reckon this is the perfect year for a rank outsider to steal the whole show.