So, the last time I blogged here I was “Exhausted of Baku”.
The Xirdalan beers had finally caught up with me, along with the ignominy of
travelling back to the UK in the same class of cabin that I’d paid for. Really!
Fast forward 8 months or so and we’re already some way into the on-season. I
need to throw a six and catch up! Fulfilling a vague promise to “that Phil” to
blog a bit as a chunk of the On Europe team whoop it up in the Mediterranean this
weekend here goes with a round up thus far. There are spoilers, for those who
don’t know the results, but you don’t really come here for the news, do you?
It was the squealing of the masses that accompanied the rolling
into town of the Nordic caravanserai that is the Melody Festival last night which
awoke me from my semi slumber. Not that there was a great deal to squeal about
there last night but more of that in a bit. The train has been in motion since well
back into 2012 and causing a bit of a commotion along the way.
First up Belarus, with a song that I’ll hold back commenting
on until it’s been inevitably changed at the behest of a power-that-(erm?)-bes.
Then Switzerland, which prompted intervention by the EBU as the group is made of
representatives of the Salvation Army. Many of the contest’s homosexualist fans
were quick to question the organisation’s teachings in regard to gay people
(the Salvation Army’s not the EBU’s you understand) but the problem turned out
to be merely one of association (and not being best keen on the natty uniforms).
After a period of quiet reflection the band are staying and making the requisite
changes.
Albania has plumped for a cacophonous, stirring rock song
with folky elements enhancing the percussion. It’s the genre of song that
regularly remains stuck in a Eurovision semi-final, and one of the singers possesses
the gruff vocal qualities of an electric sander with a made-for-radio look to
match. I don’t rate its chance much, but it will undergo the regulation
Albanian make-over before Malmö, not least as it’s currently well over time, so
it may be radically reconstructed between now and then.
The Lithuanian entry is an unconventional love song and
actually quite jolly, but needs a keener presentation come May than Andrius in
a top hat flanked by masked clowns and a ballet dancer. Rounding off last year
for this, Ukraine snuck in a final on a Sunday afternoon and finally chose Zlata
Ognevich to do the honours. It’s another rousing number, all staccato and big
notes. Its success seemed to come as much from the apparent popularity of Zlata
herself as there being not much else to choose from.
After such a rush of activity we’ve had to wait over a full
calendar month for the next confirmed entry in Denmark. Once again the Danish
final was a high-quality production with some big, ballsy dance numbers, several
of which would had brought the Eurovision audience and the Euro Club to their
feet. Unfortunately for me my own favourite Mohamed flitted between several
erroneous keys in his delivery, although it didn’t stop him from finishing a close
second. The winner is all penny-whistles and celtic angst but done quite nicely
nonetheless, and should be enough to draw plenty of neighbourly support from
across the Øresund Bridge.
Malta’s marathon show last night tested the attention span
of all but the very eager and courted controversy when the official EBU website
announced the (wrong) winner before the voting had even commenced. I think they
were probably just trying to get clocked off and into bed like the rest of us,
and checking whether there was anybody left even paying any notice. That Phil
has this as a bouncy, happy-go-lucky number which indeed it is, but not one I
think will trouble the left hand side of the scoreboard should it even get the
chance. Meanwhile over in Iceland they’ve selected another celtic-influenced number
performed by a man whose hairdo was old-fashioned back in 1999 when it was worn
by Rui Bandera for Portugal. Along with most of the selections so far it’s by
no means a definite qualifier and its fate will be sealed by the quality of
those songs yet to be selected.
Which brings us to the rest of the Nordic heats that have filled
the gloomy winter thus far: Finland is as bonkers as ever and could be won by
any one of the finalists, with Norway seemingly determined to elect the most
unlikely of songs into its final line up. With gothic stage shows, Norwegian
rap, dancers dressed as enormous Duracell bunnies and a bizarre mash-up of
opera and death metal you can’t claim it’s been dull. Melodifestivalen on the
other hand served us up two rather predictable qualifiers, David Lindgren an
inferior imitation of his previous attempt and Yohio, notable more for his
gender presentation than his melody. It’s perhaps telling that the one stuck in
my head today is the Swedish language Vi Kommer Aldrig Att Folrlöra which gained
a second chance a month from now. Still we had a lovely song and dance routine
as the interval act.
So there you go, a quick round up of the season so far. It appears
there’s a sizable bunch of us hoping it gets a lot better... Come on BBC,
surprise us!
Monty x
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